Dating & Flirting phrases and words in English
The full vocabulary of modern romance — the talking stage, the silent decline, the second-date red flag, the soft launch. Every euphemism the apps invented, plus the moves that survived TikTok and the 'are we exclusive' DM. Drop these and stop sounding like you've never been ghosted.
41 phrases · meanings & example sentences
“Shoot your shot”
The borrowed basketball metaphor for taking the chance — sending the text, accepting they might say no, finding out. Half permission slip, half dare. Used today as the universal nudge for any low-stakes risk: dating, asking the favour, putting your hand up.
- She'd been hovering over his profile for a month. Just shoot your shot.
- The CEO's having coffee alone at the next table. Shoot your shot.
- Last twenty seconds, ball in your hands, no timeout. Shoot your shot.
“Slide into the DMs”
The Instagram-era flirting move — leaving the public timeline for the direct-message inbox, usually with a too-casual reply to a story. Now used for any low-stakes opening shot: dating, networking, fan-to-celebrity. Doing it well needs a reason that pretends not to be one.
- He waited until she posted the rooftop story, then hit reply with one dry line. Full slide into the DMs.
- She liked three of the founder's posts then sent him her pitch deck. Pure slide into the DMs.
- Twelve-year-old nephew slid into Lewis Hamilton's DMs with a homework question. Got no reply.
“Situationship”
The relationship that hasn't been named because nobody wants to name it — all the time investment and none of the labels. Now stretched to anything in the no-man's-land between casual and committed: jobs, friendships, freelance gigs.
- Four months in, has met his sister, has never been called girlfriend. Textbook situationship.
- We've been splitting coffee runs since March and neither of us would call us friends. Office situationship.
- She's freelancing for them full-time but they won't put her on payroll. Pure career situationship.
“Ghosted”
The 2010s coinage for vanishing without notice — no goodbye, no read receipt, just a sudden absence where a person used to be. Used today for any abrupt disappearance in dating, hiring, friendship, or sales. The internet's most efficient breakup.
- Two great dates, one shared playlist, then two weeks of nothing. He ghosted me.
- Three rounds of interviews, verbal offer, then radio silence. Got ghosted by HR.
- We were planning her birthday in March, she stopped replying in April. Pure ghost.
“Left on read”
When someone opens your message and doesn't reply — named after the 'read' receipt in messaging apps. A modern shorthand for being deliberately ignored, with the extra sting of confirmation that they saw it and chose silence anyway.
- She sent a long voice note. He left it on read for four days.
- The proposal email was opened at 9am Monday. No reply by Friday. Left on read.
- Posted a direct question in the group chat. Everyone saw it. Nobody answered. Left on read.
“Love-bombing”
Overwhelming someone with attention, affection, or praise all at once — too fast, too much, too soon. The signal that this intensity is a tactic, not a genuine connection. Used for new partners, bosses in honeymoon mode, and recruitment pitches that feel suspiciously perfect.
- Three days in and he's already calling her 'my person' and booking flights to Lisbon. Pure love-bombing.
- New boss sent her flowers, a Spotify playlist and a Le Creuset in week one. Corporate love-bombing.
- Estranged dad showed up at her wedding with three gifts and a memorised speech. Classic love-bombing.
“Soft launch”
The Instagram-era reveal of a new partner — the cropped hand on a wine glass, the mystery sleeve in a dinner photo, no tag. Used today for any deliberate, low-commitment hint: a new job, a product, a haircut. Enough to start the gossip, not enough to require a comment.
- A blurry shoulder in the Lisbon carousel, no tag, no caption. Soft launch.
- LinkedIn header changed to 'building something new' last Tuesday. Career soft launch.
- The bakery's posting one croissant a day with no menu, no address. Pure soft launch.
“Hard launch”
The official Instagram debut — face fully in frame, tagged, caption included, usually a heart emoji. Used today for any public confirmation that ends the speculation phase: relationships, jobs, products. Often follows a soft launch by the number of weeks it takes to be sure.
- Six months in, full carousel from the Maldives, both faces, 'him 🤍'. Hard launch confirmed.
- New job announcement post with the company logo and a polished headshot. Career hard launch.
- The café finally opened the doors and put the menu on every story. Hard launch.
“The ick”
The sudden, irrational turn-off — the moment one small thing (chasing the bus, a bad text, mispronouncing 'quinoa') kills all attraction at once. Used for any inexplicable repulsion you can't argue yourself out of. The ick cannot be reasoned with.
- He chased a frisbee on the beach and that was the end of it. Instant ick.
- New manager said 'let's circle back' four times in one stand-up. Gave me the ick.
- The rebrand uses Comic Sans on the logo. Massive ick.
“Red flag”
The borrowed metaphor for the warning sign — the offhand comment about the ex, the way they treat the waiter, the fact they don't have a single female friend. Used today for any data point that should be making you pause. Works in dating, hiring, and apartment viewings.
- He said his last three girlfriends were 'all crazy'. Red flag, immediately.
- New candidate spoke over both women on the panel. Big red flag.
- Landlord asked us not to mention the kitchen ceiling to the upstairs neighbour. Red flag.
“Green flag”
The optimist's reply to red flag — the small, often unglamorous behaviour that signals this might actually work. Tipping properly, remembering names, on-time replies. Used today in dating, hiring, and friendship to log the things that suggest the person is, against all odds, a functional adult.
- He texted to confirm the time, arrived early, brought a book. Three green flags before drinks.
- Candidate sent thank-you notes to everyone on the panel by name. Green flag.
- New flatmate replaced the toilet roll without being asked on day one. Green flag.
“Catching feelings”
The slightly reluctant admission that something casual has gone emotional — the situationship that's no longer just physical, the rebound that's too comfortable, the colleague you've started thinking about on the train. The half-confession that the original terms quietly stopped applying.
- She said it was nothing serious in October. It's now December and she's met his sister. She's catching feelings.
- He's freelancing one day a week and now wants the company logo on his CV. Catching feelings.
- They were just gym partners. He just bought her a birthday present. Catching feelings.
“Butterflies”
The physical flutter of nervous excitement — short for 'butterflies in your stomach'. Used for anything that makes your stomach drop in a pleasantly anxious way: a new crush, a job interview, stepping on stage. The body's own signal that something actually matters to you.
- She gets butterflies every time his name comes up on her phone.
- First day on a new job — butterflies the whole commute there.
- About to walk out in front of three hundred people. Pure butterflies.
“Punching above your weight”
The borrowed boxing metaphor for landing a partner who, by every visible metric, is meaningfully better looking, better dressed, or better employed than you. Now used as both compliment and gentle slander. Applies equally to jobs, restaurants, and weekend plans you can't quite afford.
- Mid-tier accountant from Reading. Wife is a model. Full punching above his weight.
- Two-person startup just signed a deal with Apple. Punching massively above their weight.
- Sunday-league striker scored a hat-trick against an ex-Premier League side. Punching above his weight.
“Cuffing season”
The seasonal urge to pair up as temperatures drop — named for 'cuffing' yourself to someone before winter. Used beyond dating for any end-of-year pattern of nesting and connection-seeking: streaming sign-ups, hobby classes, anything that feels better shared.
- Single all summer, 'in a relationship' by Halloween, single again by Easter. Classic cuffing season.
- Dating app sign-ups spike every October like clockwork. Cuffing season is their best quarter.
- All three flatmates got new house plants and started a book club in November. Full cuffing season energy.
“Orbiting”
The post-breakup or post-ghost behaviour of staying within visible distance without ever making contact — watching every story, liking the occasional throwback, never sending a word. Used today for the exes, almost-exes, and ex-colleagues who refuse to fully leave but refuse to come back.
- He hasn't spoken to her in eight months. He has watched every story. Orbiting since February.
- Ex-colleague who quit dramatically still likes every team photo on LinkedIn. Orbiting.
- The friend she fell out with at uni still views all her posts. Orbiting from a distance.
“Benching”
The dating equivalent of squad rotation — keeping someone in the regular text rotation but never quite playing them, just in case the starter goes down. The half-status of being kept warm without being chosen. Now used for jobs, freelance gigs, and friend-group invitations.
- They've been 'trying to find a date that works' for three months. She's been benched the whole time.
- The recruiter keeps him on a 'maybe next quarter' loop. Career benching.
- Coach kept him warming up the whole second half and never sent him on. Pure benching.
“Slow fade”
The civilised cousin of ghosting — replies that take longer to send, plans that keep getting 'rescheduled', until one day you both realise it's been three weeks. Used for any conflict-avoidant exit nobody acknowledges out loud. Theoretically kinder than ghosting; in practice, longer.
- Replies went from instant to next-day to next-week to never. Textbook slow fade.
- We were best friends in 2019. She didn't come to my birthday in 2023. Slow fade.
- New hire stopped answering Slack on Tuesdays, then Wednesdays, then everything. Resignation slow fade.
“Future faking”
Painting a vivid future — the trips, the shared plans, the big commitments — with no intention of building any of it. A habit that functions as a substitute for actual effort, used in relationships, workplaces, and friendships alike. Clearly diagnosable only in hindsight.
- Three months of 'next summer in Tokyo', followed by 'I think we want different things'. Pure future faking.
- He promised her a co-founder title every Monday for a year. Pure future faking.
- 'We'll do a road trip in August' — said for six Augusts in a row. Future faking.
“Talking stage”
The warm-up phase before anything is official — constant messages, voice notes, and mutual enthusiasm with no label yet. Used for any pre-commitment grey zone where both parties are clearly interested but nothing has been declared: dating, partnerships, friendships still testing the water.
- Two weeks of voice notes, three FaceTimes, no actual dinner. Still in the talking stage.
- Investor's been WhatsApping ideas for a month with no term sheet. Founder talking stage.
- Old colleagues said they'd 'definitely get coffee soon' in March. Friendship talking stage.
“Out of my league”
The honest self-assessment that the person you're interested in is, by visible measures, on a different tier — looks, status, energy, social circle. Now used for jobs, neighbourhoods, and tasting menus. Sometimes a real concern, more often a brag in disguise.
- He's six-three and runs a fund. She's slightly hungover. Out of his league? Probably the opposite.
- The job's at the UN and she's been a junior analyst for nine months. Out of her league.
- Three Michelin stars on a Tuesday for two students. Slightly out of our league.
“Mixed signals”
The contradictory behaviour that leaves you guessing — the all-day flirty texts followed by weekend silence, the eye contact across the room and the cold goodbye. Used everywhere — work, friendship, parents — for any person whose words and actions refuse to line up.
- He held her hand all evening then said he 'doesn't want anything serious' in the cab. Mixed signals.
- The CEO said 'we love your work' and gave her zero new clients. Mixed signals.
- Mum says she's fine and hasn't answered the phone in two weeks. Heavy mixed signals.
“Friend zone”
The official designation of being categorically considered as a friend, never a romantic prospect — usually delivered with 'you're like a brother to me' or 'I value our friendship too much'. Used today, often self-mockingly, for any version of being kept close but never quite chosen.
- Six months of perfect dates and she introduced him to her mum as 'my best friend Tom'. Full friend zone.
- He's been advising the founders for two years with no equity. Investor friend zone.
- He's helped the band move three times. They've never invited him to a gig as a guest. Friend zone.
“Wingman”
The friend whose job is to set you up for the approach — distracting the friend group, dropping the right compliment, knowing exactly when to leave the table. Borrowed from fighter-pilot slang via 1980s cinema. Now used for any helpful sidekick: dating, networking, weddings.
- He chatted to the loud roommate so she could talk to the actual crush. Top-tier wingman.
- His business partner casually mentioned the funding round to the journalist. Best wingman in the building.
- Her sister steered Aunt Marianne away from the bride for the entire reception. Wedding wingman.
“Beige flag”
Not a warning and not a win — the small, oddly specific quirk that's just a bit much, or a bit boring. The dating-app verdict for a harmless-but-noted trait. Now used for people, brands, and jobs that aren't bad, just slightly off.
- His entire personality is being from a town near London. Beige flag.
- New manager replies 'noted' to literally every message. Beige flag.
- The café only ever plays one Norah Jones album on loop. Beige flag.
“Rizz”
Short for charisma — the natural charm to talk someone round, whether that's a date, a recruiter, or a bouncer. Works as a noun ('he's got rizz') or a verb ('rizzed her up'). The modern word for the social skill that opens doors words alone shouldn't.
- He walked over, said three sentences, left with her number. Pure rizz.
- She talked the airline into a free upgrade at the gate. Elite rizz.
- Closed the client over one coffee and a bad joke. Unmatched rizz.
“Zombieing”
When someone who ghosted you claws their way back from the dead — a casual 'hey stranger' months after they vanished, as if nothing happened. Used today for any contact that resurfaces only once you'd finally moved on: exes, recruiters, old friends.
- He vanished in March, texted 'been thinking of you' in September. Zombieing.
- The recruiter who went silent for a year just emailed 'still interested?'. Career zombieing.
- Uni mate who stopped replying in 2021 suddenly liked all my photos. Zombieing back to life.
“Cushioning”
Keeping a few backup options warm while you're with — or chasing — someone, so the landing's soft if it falls through. The just-in-case texts to other prospects. Now used beyond dating for hedging your bets on jobs, flats, or clients.
- She's got a boyfriend but keeps three other chats gently ticking over. Cushioning.
- He accepted the offer and kept interviewing 'just to see what's out there'. Career cushioning.
- We signed the lease and still booked two more viewings. Cushioning the move.
“Delulu”
Playful short form of delusional — happily believing in an outcome the evidence doesn't support, usually a crush, sometimes a dream. Half self-aware joke, half coping strategy ('delulu is the solulu'). For any optimism that's outrun reality, in love or otherwise.
- He's met her twice and is already picking baby names. Fully delulu.
- Bottom of the league and still talking about winning the title. Delulu fans.
- Applied to one job and already planning the leaving party at her current one. Delulu.
“Hit it off”
The phrasal verb for two people clicking instantly — easy conversation, shared jokes, the sense you've known each other longer than ten minutes. Used for any pairing that gels from the first contact: dates, interviews, new flatmates, business partners.
- They matched on Tuesday, talked till 3am, met on Friday. Properly hit it off.
- She and the hiring manager hit it off so well the interview ran an hour over.
- Our dogs hit it off at the park before we'd even said hello.
“Chemistry”
The intangible spark between two people that no checklist explains — the timing, the banter, the way the energy just works. Used well beyond romance: for bandmates, co-founders, sports duos, anyone whose connection is more than the sum of its parts.
- On paper he was perfect; in person there was zero chemistry.
- Two decent singers, but together the chemistry carried the whole record.
- The new striker and the playmaker have instant chemistry on the pitch.
“On the rebound”
Jumping into something new while still raw from losing the last one — the relationship right after a breakup, before the dust has settled. Now used for any hasty replacement made on the bounce: a rebound job, a rebound hire, a rebound car.
- They got together two weeks after her divorce. Pure rebound.
- He took the first offer that came after the layoff. Classic rebound job.
- Bought the same model the day after the old one died. Total rebound purchase.
“Playing hard to get”
Deliberately holding back interest to seem more desirable — the delayed reply, the unbothered tone, the calculated unavailability. A tactic as old as courtship, now also seen in deals and hiring, where looking like you don't need it is its own leverage.
- She left every text on read for an hour exactly. Playing hard to get.
- The buyer pretended to walk away to knock the price down. Playing hard to get.
- Top candidate said he had 'other options' before naming his number. Playing hard to get.
“Lead someone on”
Keeping a person's hope alive while having no intention of following through — the warm replies, the 'maybe', the encouragement that goes nowhere. A phrasal verb for any false promise of more, used in romance, hiring, or sales when someone gets strung along.
- Three months of flirty replies and he never planned to ask her out. He led her on.
- The recruiter kept her 'in the final two' for a role already filled. Led her on for weeks.
- The dealer hinted at a discount all afternoon, then charged full price. Led us on.
“Third wheel”
The extra person tagging along with a couple, awkwardly present for something meant for two. Used today for anyone surplus to a tight pair — at dinner, in a work duo, on a trip — there but never quite part of it.
- The two of them held hands through the whole film while he sat between them. Pure third wheel.
- The co-founders finish each other's sentences; the new hire feels like a third wheel.
- She brought her boyfriend to girls' night and I became the third wheel.
“Make a move”
To finally act on interest instead of just signalling it — the first text, the question, the lean-in. Borrowed from board games and now used for any decisive first step in dating, business, or strategy, taken after enough hesitation.
- They circled each other all night until he finally made a move at the bar.
- The rival firm undercut us before we could make a move on the deal.
- She'd eyed that flat for weeks and made a move the day the price dropped.
“Catfish”
Someone who builds a fake online persona — borrowed photos, invented job, a life that isn't theirs — to lure people in. Now used for any profile or listing that turns out nothing like the real thing, from dating apps to holiday rentals.
- Her match looked nothing like his photos when he arrived. Total catfish.
- The flat in the listing had marble floors; the real one had damp. Proper catfish.
- His profile says 'director'; he answers the phones. Bit of a catfish.
“Swept off your feet”
Being so charmed or overwhelmed that resistance disappears — the whirlwind romance, the grand gesture, the person who wins you over before you've thought it through. Used too for anything that bowls you over: a pitch, a city, a performance.
- He flew her to Rome on the second date and she was swept off her feet.
- The startup's demo swept the investors off their feet in ten minutes.
- First time in Lisbon and the whole city swept me off my feet.
“Stand someone up”
To not show up for a planned meeting without warning or explanation — leaving the other person waiting. A classic phrasal verb for any no-show with no message: dates, job interviews, appointments, or any agreed arrangement that just doesn't happen.
- She waited at the wine bar for an hour. He never showed, never texted. Completely stood her up.
- The candidate just didn't arrive for the panel interview. Stood us up with no message.
- Builder was booked for Monday morning. Never appeared, never called. Stood us up.
“Swipe right”
To instantly approve someone or something — from Tinder, where swiping right means yes. Now used as a casual metaphor for liking or selecting anything at first glance, without much deliberation. Its opposite, 'swipe left', means an instant no.
- She'd swipe right on anyone who mentioned travel as a hobby.
- He swiped right on the first flat they viewed without checking the street.
- New restaurant opened nearby — already swiped right on their whole menu.
