Tu vs Vous phrases and words in English
French forces you to choose, in every single sentence, how close you are to the person you're talking to: the intimate 'tu' or the respectful 'vous'. It's a tiny word with huge social weight — get it wrong and you sound either cold or overly familiar. These ten phrases teach the whole dance: how to ask permission to switch, how to apologize for slipping, and how to read the invisible rules the French never explain out loud.
10 phrases · meanings & example sentences
“On se tutoie ?”
The single most important sentence in French social life: 'Shall we use tu?'. It's the moment two people agree to drop formality — usually offered by the older or more senior person. Saying yes turns a stiff acquaintance into something warmer. Learn this and you hold the key that unlocks real friendship in French.
- On se tutoie, non ? Ça sera plus simple. — Let's use 'tu', shall we? It'll be easier.
- Après trois cafés, on a fini par se tutoyer. — After three coffees, we finally started using 'tu'.
- On peut se tutoyer, on a le même âge. — We can use 'tu', we're the same age.
“tutoyer / vouvoyer”
French has two verbs that don't exist in English: 'tutoyer' (to address someone as 'tu') and 'vouvoyer' (to address them as 'vous'). The fact that this action needs its own verbs tells you how seriously French takes it. You'll hear people literally debate which one to use with a new boss or a partner's parents.
- Je ne sais pas si je dois le tutoyer ou le vouvoyer. — I don't know whether to use 'tu' or 'vous' with him.
- Au travail, on vouvoie le directeur mais on tutoie les collègues. — At work, we use 'vous' with the director but 'tu' with colleagues.
- Mes beaux-parents, je les vouvoie encore. — I still use 'vous' with my in-laws.
“Je peux vous tutoyer ?”
The polite way to ask permission to switch to 'tu' — note it's still phrased with 'vous' out of respect, right up until the other person agrees. It's a small masterpiece of French tact: you soften the request by using the formal form to ask to drop the formal form.
- Je peux vous tutoyer ? — On se connaît maintenant. — May I use 'tu' with you? We know each other now.
- Vous permettez que je vous tutoie ? — Do you mind if I use 'tu' with you?
- Tu peux me tutoyer, pas de souci. — You can use 'tu' with me, no problem.
“On reste au vous”
Sometimes the answer is no. 'Let's stay on vous' is the gentle way to keep the distance — common with much older people, in luxury shops, or with a client. It's not rejection; it's a signal that respect and a bit of ceremony still matter here. Knowing this saves you from an awkward over-friendly slip.
- Je préfère qu'on reste au vous, si ça ne vous dérange pas. — I'd rather we stay on 'vous', if you don't mind.
- Avec les clients, on reste toujours au vous. — With clients, we always stay on 'vous'.
- Elle est de la vieille école, on reste au vous. — She's old-school, we stay on 'vous'.
“Il m'a tutoyé direct”
'He used tu with me right away.' Depending on the tone, this is either a compliment (warm, relaxed) or a complaint (presumptuous, disrespectful). A stranger tutoie-ing you unasked can feel like being slapped on the back by someone you've never met. This phrase captures that very French flash of judgment about someone crossing a line.
- Le serveur m'a tutoyé direct, j'ai trouvé ça cool. — The waiter used 'tu' right away, I thought it was cool.
- Il m'a tutoyé direct alors qu'on venait de se rencontrer. — He used 'tu' with me straight away even though we'd just met.
- Ça m'a un peu choqué qu'il me tutoie comme ça. — It shocked me a bit that he used 'tu' with me like that.
“Excusez-moi, je vous ai tutoyé sans faire exprès”
The apology for an accidental 'tu' — a genuinely common slip once you're comfortable. Owning it politely ('I used tu with you without meaning to') shows you know the rules even when your mouth runs ahead of your manners. It's the kind of self-correction that instantly marks you as socially fluent.
- Excusez-moi, je vous ai tutoyé sans faire exprès. — Sorry, I used 'tu' with you by accident.
- Pardon, je me suis trompé, je voulais vous vouvoyer. — Sorry, I slipped, I meant to use 'vous'.
- Oups, je vous ai tutoyé, ça m'a échappé. — Oops, I used 'tu', it just slipped out.
“le tutoiement / le vouvoiement”
The nouns for the two registers themselves. The French talk about 'le vouvoiement de politesse' (polite vous) as a real cultural institution — schools, companies, and families each have unwritten rules about it. Being able to name the concept lets you ask locals directly: 'What's the rule here?' instead of guessing and getting it wrong.
- Le vouvoiement se perd un peu chez les jeunes. — The use of 'vous' is fading a bit among young people.
- Dans cette entreprise, le tutoiement est la norme. — In this company, using 'tu' is the norm.
- Le vouvoiement, c'est une marque de respect. — Using 'vous' is a mark of respect.
“Tu permets ?”
Once you're on 'tu', French keeps a whole toolkit of quick courtesies. 'Tu permets ?' — 'May I?' / 'Do you mind?' — is the friendly cousin of the formal 'Vous permettez ?'. Switching between these two versions of the same phrase is exactly how you show you've learned who's close and who isn't.
- Tu permets que je prenne ta chaise ? — Do you mind if I take your chair?
- Vous permettez ? Je voudrais passer. — Excuse me? I'd like to get by.
- Tu permets une seconde ? Je dois répondre. — Give me a second? I have to take this.
“On peut se dire tu”
A warmer, more inviting variant of 'on se tutoie ?' — literally 'we can say tu to each other'. It's often how a host or a new friend lowers the barrier first, generously. Hearing it is a small gift: someone has just decided you're in the inner circle.
- Allez, on peut se dire tu maintenant. — Come on, we can use 'tu' now.
- Tu peux me dire tu, on n'est pas au bureau. — You can use 'tu' with me, we're not at the office.
- On se dit tu ? Ça fait bizarre de te vouvoyer. — Shall we use 'tu'? It feels weird to use 'vous' with you.
“Je ne sais jamais comment l'appeler”
The universal French anxiety, spoken out loud: 'I never know how to address them.' Native speakers agonize over it too — with a friend's parents, a doctor, a new neighbor. Admitting the confusion is disarming and human, and it invites the other person to just tell you the rule. Sometimes the most fluent move is confessing you don't know.
- Ta mère, je ne sais jamais comment l'appeler. — Your mother, I never know how to address her.
- Avec les profs, on ne savait jamais s'il fallait les tutoyer. — With teachers, we never knew whether to use 'tu'.
- Je vous vouvoie par sécurité, on ne sait jamais. — I'll use 'vous' to be safe, you never know.
